Feeling self-conscious?Read More
Picture this…You’re a woman in your mid-20s, 30s, 50s… whatever, and all of a sudden you’re experiencing confidence issues.
The self-confidence you’ve always had as a girl or young woman has vanished, and you scarcely recognize the stressed or timid or unconfident person you’ve become.Read More
Updated: February 9, 2018
It's a troubling thought isn't it...
You've got a dirty little secret you're hiding from everyone.
On the outside, you appear to have it all together. You're living your life, taking care of your family, hanging with your girls, handling your business.
No one would suspect there's a nasty problem hovering over the edges of your life.
But there it is. And no matter what you do to try to hide it, you just can't seem to make it go away.
You don't believe in you.
You lack self confidence.
Oh, you say all the right things, and you've got plenty attitude. But deep down, on the inside where we get to the real "real"...
You're a hot mess. An enormous, twisted, mixed up ball of insecurity.
And you're afraid someone's going to discover it, and when they do, they'll expose your secret and the whole world will know you're not the person you claim to be.
So how do you stop pretending? How do you actually become the self confident person you claim to be?
Fortunately confidence is learned. It's not something we're born with. So if you lack self confidence, it's something you can fix.
And how do we fix it? By adjusting our thinking and behaviors with consistency and repetition, until being confident becomes habit.
Following are tips you can use to increase self confidence in as little as the next 14 days. And as you practice and repeat them consistently, they will soon become a normal part of your thinking and behavior. Here they are:
Your thoughts, your opinions, your looks, your skin color, your decisions, your emotions, your actions, own them all.
Don't give anyone else credit or blame for who you are or how you feel.
Whether you realize it or not, whether you believe it or not, only you are responsible for how you show up in the world. And you are the only person who wields the power attached to that.
Recognize that you are powerful. You have authority in your circumstances. Use it.
You have a unique voice, and there is power in speaking your truth. Speak up for yourself.
Stop waiting for someone speak for you or to speak up for you. Stop waiting for others to recognize you, to appreciate you, to value you, to reward you. Do those things for yourself.
And when you begin to do those things for yourself, it is then that others will begin to do them too.
If you dislike something that's going on in your life or the way you're being treated, neither of those things will change until you speak up.
If on the other hand, someone is kind or considerate or treats you in a way that's to your liking, they will never know it or know to repeat it unless you give voice to your joy and pleasure.
Use your voice. The more you give voice to what you want and need in your life, the more confident you'll become and the more often those things will begin to show up for you.
Not perfect because perfection is an illusion and the hunt for it a time-stealer.
Work to be better; better than you were yesterday, better than your last idea, better than you can comfortably imagine, and be always building and improving and moving forward.
Be ready when it's your turn in the spotlight or on the hot seat.
Whether it's an academic test, a professional presentation, a job or volunteer interview or an audition, do your work.
Then demonstrate that you know your stuff, or that you possess the skills or abilities needed or required for whatever the task may be.
In other words, Take a chance!
I can't tell you how many times that I've created lifetime experiences from opportunities to do something or be involved in something that I wouldn't normally do.
And those experiences and memories are some of the best of my life and will last me the rest of my life.
Be willing to experience something you might not be sure you'll like or think you might suck at, just for the experience of it.
You'll be surprised how much it will enrich your life, and at the level of confidence you'll gain from those moments.
Stop comparing yourself and your progress against others.
Your story and your life are unique to you. Measuring your life, your development and your advancement against someone else's just doesn't make sense.
Everyone's journey is completely unique, even when there exist similar experiences or circumstances.
How things come into your life, how you perceive information through your personal filter and experience, experience events, how you choose to act in any set of circumstances at any time, and the timing with which any or all of that takes place is unique to you and happens at a pace that is your own.
No two journeys are exactly alike. Your story is your own.
Think of it this way... Pebbles on the beach all look the same when viewed in a group. But upon closer inspection, it quickly becomes evident that no two pebbles are exactly alike.
Each one has been individually molded and shaped by wind and waves and water. Each is absolutely individual and unique, completely distinguishable from any other.
You can only truly measure your progress against yourself. Where were you yesterday, last month, last year, or five years ago.
Don't compare yourself or your journey against others, when you are like no other.
Don't allow the unexpected to catch you by surprise.
You may not be able to anticipate specific circumstances, just know that setbacks will come and always be as prepared as you can for their arrival.
This will give you confidence in situations which are uncertain.
You may not immediately foresee the outcome of your circumstances, but you will be able to be confident in knowing that whatever they are, you have the ability to meet your issues head on and overcome them.
When setbacks do show up, be prepared to deal with them in the best most efficient way, so that they can teach you what you need to know in the moment. Then move on.
You may ask how getting organized helps you to boost your confidence.
Organization brings order to your life. By organizing you become more efficient, you eliminate waste become more productive.
Organization allows you to gain more control over your affairs. Which allows you to manage better, reduces stress in you life, allows you to manage your daily tasks and track your progress to meet your goals.
All of these things work together to spend less time stressing and working and to have more enjoyable time to do the things you want to do rather than be bogged down with the things you have to do.
And all of those things work together to increase your confidence.
So often when we are met with obstacles or challenges, we are reluctant to reveal our predicament for fear of appearing foolish or weak.
Or, we are reluctant to reveal our lack of knowledge of something because we feel we may be judged for what we don't know or we'll be made to feel stupid.
In both cases, what you're really allowing to happen is you're allowing pride and ego to rob you of the help you need to be and do better.
In this post we have outlined 9 Self Confidence Building Strategies for you to use to help build and improve your level of self confidence in as little as two weeks. They are:
At the end of the day, confidence is a state of mind. It's the act of you standing in your truth and being willing to own it; the beautiful as well as the woolly parts, the sharp as well as the smooth edges. All of it. All of you. And being cool with that.
Are you wrestling with issues of self confidence? How have you worked to overcome your confidence issues? Let me know in the comments. If you like this post, please share it with your family and friends. Thanks! You're Awesome!