Do you struggle with jealousy? Do you often compare yourself to other people? Do you wonder how to stop jealousy and feelings of envy you have toward other people?
If you answered “yes” to either of these questions, don’t worry - you’re not alone. Even the best of us fall prey to comparisons with those we know or would like to be more like.
And our social constructs these days often feed us information that seems to be a constant diet of comparisons. An environment of competition and envy of others’ success makes for better stories to distribute, and pushes us to consume products or services that we don’t really need all of which benefits those who profit from unending cycles of consumerism.
But while many of us want to stop comparing ourselves to others, we don’t always know where to start. How do we stop jealousy, or more importantly, “how do you overcome envy and jealousy to become a better you?”
Here Are Four of the Best Tips We Know on How to Stop Jealousy of Others
Identify What You Tend To Be Jealous Of
Instead of asking yourself “how do I stop being jealous and insecure?”, ask yourself why you get jealous in the first place!
Oftentimes when we see someone succeeding in areas of life that we are self-conscious of, we become jealous. But we're not really jealous of the individual, we're upset because they have accomplished or achieved something that we have not. That's why we want what they have. But don’t let your insecurities control your emotions!
Rather than being jealous, do the deeper work of figuring out what it is that you want, based on who you are, your values and beliefs and then go about making a plan and doing the work to get it or to accomplish it.
Ask Yourself: How Does Jealousy Make You Feel?
There’s a saying that goes like this: resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It's the same with jealousy. When we want what someone else has, we can end up disliking the person, as well. When in reality, the problem or issue really has nothing to do with the other person at all.
When you find yourself in a situation in which you feel jealous, try to become more self-aware - aware of your own feelings. If you’re honest, being jealous doesn’t actually feel very good.
And if you’re not a masochist, you'll be open to find alternatives instead of harboring jealousy.
Turn Your Jealousy Into Motivation
Instead of allowing your insecurities to run the show and feed your emotions, turn your jealousy into motivation.
While those of you reading this article want to learn how to stop being jealous, the truth is that even the best of us get jealous because we all have things we're insecure about. Some may hide it or camouflage it better, but that doesn't mean it's not there.
What matters is how you handle it!
By allowing any feelings of jealousy to motivate you (not so that you're in competition with another person, but so that you push yourself to be and to perform at your best), you can turn those negative thoughts and feelings into something much more positive, productive and beneficial.
Next time you see someone who has what you want, think about why you want it or why you're upset that someone else has it. Explore those thoughts and feelings, and try to get to the root of them. Then decide what you want to do about it, and go from there.
Celebrate Your Differences
One of the most important tips to learn about how to stop jealousy is learning how to accept yourself. Because jealousy is never about the other person - the object or focus of your envy. It's always about you.
The next time you find yourself jealous of someone’s looks or success, or who they're with, remember that you are unique. Don’t judge others for their successes - instead, lift them up! And celebrate the things that make you unique and different and “one-of-a-kind”.
Then, if there are still things that you want to be different or changed or better about yourself and your life, get committed to do the hard work of bettering them. This will help complete the necessary mindset shift.
If you truly want to learn how to stop being jealous of others’ success and how to stop comparing yourself, then use these four tips. They are the simplest, most effective tips that we have found on how to manage and minimize jealousy.
When you accept who you are, your unique aspects, the truth of you, warts and all, you can find a way to be happy for the successes of others and lift them up. You can turn old jealousies into motivation to be your best and live your best life.
We are all works in progress, and learning how to stop jealousy, even using the simple tips we've outlined here, will allow you to take a few steps forward and continue your journey!
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Kimberly Clay is the founder and creative force behind What She Say. She’s a business professional, writer and editor who’s been creating and managing digital content for nearly twenty years. Her work is now focused in the areas of self-improvement and personal development, and she is passionate about helping other individuals, especially women, to find a path for living their best life.