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Posted by on Jan 3, 2018 in Self Improvement, Stress

9 Ways To Recover When You’ve Reached Your Breaking Point

 

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Your breaking point.

As a woman, I know firsthand what it feels like when you've reached that point of no return.

Where all you want to do is hide under the covers and cry that “ugly” cry – you know the one... where your shoulders shake, snot runs from your nose, and sounds come from your throat that don't necessarily sound human.

Or you want to disappear into your closet and pray.

You just want the world to go away - to just recede into the background...

Or maybe you find yourself standing in the front of the fridge at midnight eating all of the leftover cake balls from Christmas.

Breaking points can take many forms and at this point in life, I've experienced most all of them.

While what triggers the final implosion may vary, the causes are often the same.

Taking on too much at home or the office until we crumble underneath the weight of it all...

Or mistakenly thinking our issue(s) isn't as big a problem or challenge as it really is and assuming we can fix it without help from anyone else.

Help. I know. That seems like a four letter word to some of us.

Unfortunately and all too often, we tend to believe that if we ask for help, it makes us weak or somehow less of a women, mother, wife, employee or professional.

But seeking help, especially when we truly need it doesn't make us weak; it makes us human.

So if you're feeling frustrated, or as if the world around you is spinning out of control, there are things you can do to get you back to center.

 

 

9 Strategies To Rebound When You're In Crisis

 

When You've Reached Your Breaking Point:

 

1. Stop what you are doing and breathe.

I mean that literally.

Stop, count to ten and breathe deeply in and exhale slowly out. Repeat.

Deep breathing sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax.

And while you're slowing your motor down (a phrase my mom used to use when we were kids), this also gives you a chance to calmly reassess your situation.

After looking at the problem from a calm, clear perspective, it's quite likely you'll discover things are not as bad as you thought.

In the case that they are bad, you have an opportunity to think more clearly and rationally to formulate a solution from a place of calm and stillness.

2. Write down the things that are causing your stress.

When you get them out of your head and onto paper (or type out in notes on your phone), they aren't as scary.

Put them into two categories, things you can control and things you can't.

Let go of the things you can't control and formulate a plan of action for the things you can.

You may find that taking even the smallest step will make you feel better.

3. Identifying the sources of stress.

Along with writing down the things that are causing stress in your life is identifying the stressors.

We often overlook our stress-inducing thoughts and behaviors.

For example, always worried about meeting deadlines of a job or business, but continually procrastinating?

Maybe your procrastination is causing the stress, not the role itself.

Overbooking yourself can also lead to feeling that your life is always crazy.

Say yes to the important things and learn to say no to the others politely.

You don't have to go to every happy hour mixer or volunteer for every class party or work project.

It is perfectly acceptable to say no.

Be sure that when you're writing down your stressors, you write how they make you feel and how you deal with them.

Taking ownership of your stress factors will help you to eliminate them.

4. Talk it out.

When you've reached your breaking point, taken all you believe you can take, and you feel yourself approaching that point of no return where your emotions are about to boil over or explode, call up a trusted friend and vent.

Sometimes, just getting it out relieves the pressure.

However, if your problems are more significant than what your friends can handle, it may be time to seek a professional to talk to.

A life coach, a therapist or even a psychologist can be a source of help in assisting you to get your life back on track.

Many of them offer free fifteen-minute consultations to determine if they are a good fit for your needs.
 


5. Ask for help.

Often asking for help is the hardest to do but the most necessary.

Worried about walking the dog?

Ask a relative or friend if they can help.

No one around to help? Hire someone.

Same goes for the pile of dishes in the sink.

If even simple tasks become overwhelming because you have too many or because you need to focus your attention elsewhere on more pressing matters, consider outsourcing them.

With all of the different online services, you can find just about anyone to help you with whatever you need.

Services like Care.com or Angie's List even offer background checks so you know you are getting help you can trust.

6. Get your juices flowing.

No, I don't mean making a smoothie but if it helps go for it.

I'm talking about good old-fashioned exercise.

Go for a run, take a walk, enjoy a bike ride.

Work your body. Rest your mind.

When we move, we get our endorphins pumping.

Endorphins are the brain's way of making us feel good.

And if you can't seem to get away, don't let that hinder you.

Do some jumping jacks, deep knee bends or simply walk in place in your office.

It will get the endorphins going and make you giggle as you think about how ridiculous you look.

But be sure to take those cute heels off first, an emergency room visit for a broken ankle will only cause more stress.

7. Do something nice.

When all seems hopeless, show kindness to someone else.

It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, just a few kind words will go a long way.

Like someone's shoes? Tell her.

Think your coworker is killing it? Compliment her on a job well done.

Seeing someone else happy and knowing you are the cause, will make you feel better too.

8. Change your game plan.

There is no reason to stick to a strategy that isn't working.

Contrary to popular belief, there's no rule that says you can't change your mind.

Identify the things that work for you, that propel you in a desired direction, that get you closer to your goals and the things that make you happy.

Then eliminate or change those things that don't.

Sometimes a new direction makes all the difference.

9. Cut yourself some slack.

Love yourself. Forgive yourself.

As women we have enough outside sources making us feel inadequate, don't join in.

So what if you don't finish your to-do list, try again tomorrow.

Ordered take out for the 3rd night in a row, who cares?

Life is not perfect, and neither are we.

Embrace your imperfections and rock your world as only you can do.



Bonus for those of us who believe...

Often, when we're in trouble, we discount the power of prayer and the importance of our constant conversation and communication and relationship with God.

Whether it's (mistakenly) thinking that if we're in trouble God must not know about it or he doesn't care, we're wrong.

Or if we (again mistakenly) believe it's up to us alone to try to "fix" things, we're wrong.

If you've truly reached your breaking point, talking to God about it just might help. One thing's for sure, it certainly won't hurt...

Have you reached your breaking point? If so, tell me about it in the comments. And as always, if you've enjoyed reading this post, please share it with your friends and family. Thanks!

 

9 Ways To Recover When You've Reached Your Breaking Point

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8 Comments

  1. This was so great and something I REALLY needed to read this week…or this year haha. I love all the steps you provided and they sounded like exactly what I need to do! Thanks for this encouraging post!

    • Hi Amanda! You’re so welcome and thanks so much! I’ve been there, done that; got the t-shirt, so I understand what it means to get to a point where you just..don’t..think..there’s… ANYTHING… left. But I’ve also survived and flourished afterwards. So I know that no matter what the situation, there’s always hope! I’m so glad that you found this post helpful for you. Be encouraged!

      All the Best,
      Kimberly

  2. I’m tired. As long as he keeps abusing his pain meds our home will be in chaos and we will never sleep… the boys are 15 and 17 it’s not their fault their disabled mentally ill father with multiple sclerosis keeps us up all night cause he is manic or whatever …. maybe if the doctors would stop prescribing him adderall pain meds and lithium he wouldn’t be so crazy. He drives his scooter to get his beer he is a junkie that acts like a 12 year old ex meth addicted ex drug dealer son of a crooked cop that I have been stuck with since I was 13

    • Hi Beautiful,

      I’m truly sorry for what you are currently dealing with in your life, and I am praying for you and your family. If I were in your situation, I would feel overwhelmed too. I can’t say that I’ve been through anything that compares to your situation, but I certainly know pain, heartache, disappointment, and the kind of tired that reaches into the very depths of your bones and soul.

      And there are three things I’ve learned…

      1. It can get better. Even when it looks like your situation will be the same forever, it can get better.
      2. Don’t try to fight your battle alone. It’s one you’ll be hard pressed to win without the help and support of others.
      3. You can’t change people who have no desire to change themselves. You have to be the one who changes if you want things to get better.

      You didn’t ask for advice, and so I’m not going to offer any. I will encourage you though, to reach out to any family or friends who may be able to provide you and your sons support.

      Call this number: 1-800-662-4357

      This is the number for the national helpline of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. The service is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. They provide referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. You can also order free publications and other information.

      I hope this helps, and I wish you well. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

      Kimberly

  3. You really put this together well & I am going to try this as soon as I have some free time. I’m 17 year old girl & Lord knows I’m going through a lot. First off I’m in foster care and that’s hard already having to deal with that. I’m failing literally all my classes and I’m not motivated to try I just give up so soon. Plus I don’t have a good relationship with my parents or family. I’m currently having relationship problems with the guy I’m with. Not to top it off I sometimes make bad decisions & have anger problems for a long time I’m so broken inside & I want help so bad, but in all honestly I don’t know how to motivated myself.

    • Hi Destiny,

      I’m glad this post was of value to you, and I hope that it helps. I am so very sorry for what you are experiencing right now, and understand that being in foster care is challenging. My situation at your age was different from what you’re dealing with, but I understand what it feels like to have to handle difficult situations at that age.

      If you can talk to your foster parents about some of the challenges you are facing and enlist their help and support, I would encourage you to do that. If that’s not an option, I encourage you to find someone you trust and feel you can talk with about what you’re experiencing. Maybe you have a teacher or a counselor at school you could talk with, or someone at your church if you attend.

      While you may not be able to control the circumstances surrounding you, it might be helpful to find someone with whom to share what you’re experiencing that can help you to work through things like anger issues and decision-making, and who can help to support and encourage you.

      Something that also can help is journaling. Journaling helps you to release your feelings and emotions in a safe and private way. It also helps you to process the emotions you are feeling, and as you put things down in writing, it helps you to examine your thoughts objectively and use your own intuitive abilities to consider situations and make choices.

      One thing I want you to know is that you are not broken. You are experiencing some difficulties and serious issues, but you are not broken. And I understand that you want to motivate yourself, and that’s a good thing, but don’t beat yourself up about it. You are a smart young lady, and you have the capabilities to do well. School is important, but staying motivated can be difficult until you can operate from a place of confidence in yourself and your life.

      One last thing… A resource for you is to dial 2-1-1 (in the US) to get professional, confidential help to connect with local resources near to you that can help.

      You are strong and I believe in you. I know it’s difficult right now, but please be encouraged.

      I am pulling for you and praying for you.

      All The Best,
      Kimberly

  4. Hi, as of right now I am dealing with my “breaking point”. I actual feel like I’m broken, like my understanding and coping skills have said, “see you later”. I feel it is one thing after another. I have been through a lot in the past year, an abusive relationship,a financial crisis, losing best friends, and pets, it just won’t stop. The last thing that was my breaking point was petty in a way, but it did it… I had a meltdown. I have an incredible job and my dad has been helping me every step of the way… I’m very fortunate. Yet, I feel so terrible that my dad has to deal with me. He has worked so hard his entire life and is happily retired, he has helped me so much emotionally and financially. I’m very grateful but also feel so much guilt. I have cried and been in bed for the last 2 days.. I cry and cry and feel so defeated. I have basically just given up. I cannot snap out of it..

    • Hi Katie,

      I am so sorry about the difficulties you’re having right now, and I thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

      First of all, let me just clarify that you are not broken. But I certainly know and understand what it feels like when your own skills and methods of coping with a particular set of circumstances have seemingly disappeared.

      And I also know from my own personal experience what it feels like to have things continually come at you over a period of time, and it seems there’s no relief in site. It’s hard. It’s very, very hard to be in those situations.

      I am glad to know you have someone, your dad, who has been there for you. It’s obvious that he loves you very much. I understand you not wanting to have to lean on him, but being in a position where you need help. I get it.

      And while I am not a mental health professional, it seems clear to me that what you are experiencing calls for outside help. What you are going through doesn’t sound like case of just feeling bad or feeling down. It seems there’s something more complex going on that you need immediate help to cope with.

      I don’t know where you’re located, but there are three resources available of help:

      If you are a member of a church in your community (or even if you’re not a member of a church, but you may be familiar with one), contact the pastoral leadership of the church and find out if they offer crisis counseling or can direct you to those services in your community. Most community churches have a relationship with local social services organizations, and can direct you to help.

      Another resource is the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. They offer free information online and resources that can help you.

      You can find their website at https://adaa.org, which has a specific section dedicated to information about depression here:

      https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression

      The third resource I want to direct you to is the United Way agency in your community. You can simply google “United Way” to find it or visit https://www.unitedway.org and search for the chapter closest to you.

      If you are not familiar with United Way, it is an international social services organization with branches in or near most communities that champions health, education and financial stability for community individuals, and that includes mental health and well-being.

      I hope this information is of help and that you are able to get the assistance you need to make things better. Please feel free to message me again and let me know how you are doing.

      Don’t give up Katie. You are in my prayers.

      Best,
      Kimberly

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