5 Surefire Ways To Feel Better About YOU – Boost Your Self Confidence
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Picture this…You’re a woman in your mid-20s, 30s, 50s… whatever, and all of a sudden you’re experiencing confidence issues.
The self-confidence you’ve always had as a girl or young woman has vanished, and you scarcely recognize the stressed or timid or unconfident person you’ve become.
Studies show that women, commonly suffer (and more often) from low self-confidence as compared to men.
In my experience I have known or been acquainted with many women (myself included), who have sometimes spent years projecting a confident persona, all the while feeling quite insecure about ourselves regardless of social standing, personal or professional “success”.
The truth is Life happens.
We have expectations that don’t pan out the way we planned.
We make decisions that, in hindsight, weren’t in our best interests.
We make mistakes.
We (much too often) place the happiness/opinions/well being of others above, and often at the expense of, our own.
We experience the breaking up of relationships we were sure would last forever.
People move in and out of our lives who hurt us or don’t have our best interests at heart.
And the beat goes on…
Often as we walk through our experiences, we can lose a little bit (or a freakin’ lot) of confidence in ourselves. We experience a “self-confidence regression”.
First, please know that if this is true for you, you are not alone, (Yes, I have personally been down that road as have many others) and you may have questions in your mind.
You may be asking:
– Will this lack of confidence continue forever?
– How can I give my self-confidence a boost?
Well, the answer to the first question is “No. Absolutely not.” You won’t lose your self-confidence forever (I am living proof. LOL).
If you are looking forward to getting your self-confidence back, and you’re reading this blog, you’re obviously on the right track!
I completely understand how frustrating it gets when you just don’t seem to feel the confidence you used to feel.
And if you’re wondering how to boost your confidence, just continue reading.
So here are five highly important, super effective but very simple tips that’ll help give your self-confidence a turnaround.
5 Proven Ways To Boost Your Self Confidence
1. Embrace Your Story (be thankful for your journey whatever it’s been) and Own Who You Are
We tend to have this fantastical expectation that life will change except for the things or parts of it that we want to stay the same.
Life is change. It exists in the continuum of time which is always moving forward.
Therefore, it is impossible for life to forever be like it was when you were younger/single/married/working/not working/poor/financially stable/ (insert whatever variables you wish).
It is always changing.
So learn to appreciate everything, including all of the changes that occur in your life, because all of those “threads” woven together are what constitutes the fabric that is your unique story.
Be self-aware. Be honest with yourself and others about who you are, really (warts and all).
Learn to be confident in knowing that whoever you are, you’re enough. There is nothing you lack.
So don’t Be afraid to be authentic and let that authenticity shine.
Appreciate your identity and your journey and honor them.
The process may not be easy, but in the end it’s so worth it. This helped me a lot. It will help you too.
2. Discard the idea of having to “fit in”.
Don’t get me wrong. The feeling of belonging, of having a place that is yours in a group of others is wonderful.
But sometimes, we don’t fit in (especially those of us who are seekers) with those closest to us and in our immediate environment.
That however, is truly the most wonderful thing that can happen to us and for us.
Resist the need to conform if in doing so you are required to abandon who you are.
Learn to think, to act, to exist in (at least) some ways outside the norm and cultivate a sense of confidence and appreciation for traveling a different path.
3. Improve Your Appearance
What?! Yeah, I said it.
Okay. So Before you get your panties in a bunch, take offense, call me names or label me superficial, hear me out.
A woman who feels good about how she looks, carries and presents herself differently to the world.
Upgrading your appearance can and does, help to increase your self-confidence.
Mind you, improving your appearance is not about adopting changes to your look to appease or to please others.
Whether you adopt a new hairstyle, lose weight, buy new clothes or wear the clothes you have differently, it’s about making changes that look good and feel better to you.
Work out, take proper care of your physical body by exercising and eating the right foods.
There are so many things you can do: yoga, dancing, walking, hiking, swimming, tennis, biking, weight training, going to the gym…whatever fits your life and lifestyle.
You will be healthier, you will have more energy and your mood will improve.
Looking good influences how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with others.
So make some changes, try new things and have fun with it!
4. Act Positively
If you’ve spent any time at all studying or working on self-improvement, then you’re familiar with the oft-repeated recommendation to engage in “positive thinking”, and the power of positive thinking to change your life for the better.
All of that is absolutely true. I’m a witness.
But in addition to thinking positively, taking action elevates things to the next level.
By purposefully incorporating positive actions into your life, you do two things: 1. You force yourself to think positively which works to improve your life, and 2. Through your actions as an “agent” of positive energy (giving positive energy to the world), you invite positive energy to return to you, actively increasing the level of positivity in your own life.
Oh, and by the way, this doesn’t have to require a lot of effort on your part. Let me give you an example.
I used to work in a building with several hundred employees.
Every morning we would file into the elevators for the trip up twenty-plus floors, and each evening we would make the same trip down.
Most mornings, the elevator would be quite full.
So what you would see if you were an observer, would be this group of people shuffling into the elevator, and once there, looking down at the floor, looking at their smartphones, staring at the elevator walls (Yes, really. I’m not kidding.), looking past the other passengers and avoiding direct eye contact.
And there would often be silence.
It was like riding with a group of people who had been condemned to death or something.
I would often glance around at the other people in the elevator and think “Please God, don’t let that be me in another 5, 10, 15 years. Please just don’t let that be me..” Zombie-like. Numb. Vanilla.
Then one day, I decided to make a change. And from that time on, I would occasionally make a funny remark or other comment.
After a few moments of elevator silence, I would say something like “Really, people?! Could it be THAT bad? The day hasn’t even started yet!”
And invariably, everyone in the elevator would 1. look up, 2. smile or 3. laugh out loud or make a comment on reply.
And the dreaded “doomsday spell” would be broken.
Another very small, but significant thing I started doing was complimenting people, especially other women.
It could again be someone in the elevator or someone I’d pass by in the hallways, and I would find something to compliment them on…their hair, a pretty blouse, handbag or shoes, their makeup.
It really didn’t matter what I was complimenting, the point was simply to find something nice to say that would give the other person a positive message, and an unexpected reason to feel good or smile.
It was my way of helping someone else to feel good, and just possibly spreading that good to other people.
But…it was also, and arguably just as importantly, it was a way to boost my own confidence.
It’s amazing what it feels like to be able to GIVE to others; most especially when you may be feeling deprived yourself.
When you’re able to offer something of value to someone else, even when it costs you no more than a few seconds of your time and only a small effort on your part to be kind or thoughtful of others, it’s an amazing feeling.
It changes your perception of who you are and your own self-worth. As a result, your self-confidence grows.
5. Fix Your Face
Smile as if you don’t have a care in the world. It conveys the message that all is well, you can handle anything and makes you appear to be more outgoing.
Smile when others around you are anxious. It will help to calm and assure them (and you).
Smile when friends or loved ones share their problems with you (only after listening intently and compassionately to their stories). It will help to reassure them that things will be alright.
Smile when you are being confronted or challenged by others. It confuses the enemy, especially when they feel you are weak or at some disadvantage.
A smile is a physical sign of well-being; a gift of openness, friendship or compassion shared with others; or a powerful weapon/defense to employ when you are legitimately threatened.
Any or all of these are instances that can work to boost your confidence.
Finally, always remember that you can choose to improve the things that you wish to be better about your life.
And there’s no shame in that.
But you are (as is everyone) imperfect, and in the end, even as an imperfect being, you are enough.
On your very worst day, you are still deserving of love and a feeling of self-confidence and belief in you.
Following the well-explained tips above can help as you move forward to meet life’s many challenges.
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Kimberly Clay is the founder and creative force behind What She Say. She’s a business professional, writer and editor who’s been creating and managing digital content for nearly twenty years. Her work is now focused in the areas of self-improvement and personal development, and she is passionate about helping other individuals, especially women, to find a path for living their best life.